What Would Happen If Naruto Died?
by shimpo1 and I.N.R.I.S
Summary: This story is the answer to all your "what would happen if Naruto died" questions. WARNING: This story contains twice the amount of recommended crack. Do not take seriously.


**Hola amigos! Just to let you know, I'll be sharing an account with shimpo1. Why? Because I'm too lazy to make my own account. So for now I have no profile. I'll probably make my own in shimpo1's but until then I'll have to tell you about me HERE! YAY! Wasting of your time! I'm a HUGE NaruHina fan. I'm also a fan of SasuSaku, NejiTen, ShikaTem/Ino (yes, I'm for either one. I'm so unique.), etc. I'll mostly write one shots. Now that that's over with ON WITH THE STORY! Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Sasuke, Karin, and Jugo where all resting in a field, plotting the demise of Itachi Uchia. "Sasuke!" a voice from the sky boomed. "Huh, who's there?" Sasuke demanded looking around him. "Sasuke!"

"God?" Sasuke looked up at the sky, standing up.

"Sasuke, Naruto is dead."

"He is! Holy crap what happened?!"

"I killed him off dramatically!"

"Why'd you do that? Isn't he the main character of the show?"

"Well… yes, but I'm the autho- I mean God! I can do anything! Plus I felt the show needed a change."

"Okay, so who's the new main character?'

"You are, Sasuke!"

Sasuke's face lit up with a great realization. "Wait… If I'm the main character… I can do anything!" He started laughing to himself.

Suigetsu turned to Karin. "Is Sasuke talking to himself?" he whispered. "Yeah, looks like it," she whispered back, "think we should do something?" Suigetsu shook his head. "Naw, let's wait awhile. If it continues, or gets worse, then we'll intervene." Karin nodded her head in agreement.

"So, Sasuke, what is it you'll do first as the main character of Sasuke?"

"Sweet! Even the show name changed! Haha! Beat that Itachi!"

"… Right. Well anyways, what is it you want to happen?"

Sasuke thought about what changes he wanted. "Oh, oh! I know, I want the love of my love!"

Karin's eyes widened. "Suigetsu, did you hear that! He does love me!" Suigetsu looked at her as if she had a highly contagious virus. "What makes you think he's talking about you?" Karin looked at him like it was obvious. "Well duh, Suigetsu! Who else could it b-"

"I want Hinata as my girlfriend!" the distant voice of Sasuke yelled.

Karin's mouth fell open. Suigetsu had to use all his will power just not to laugh. "Grrr! Whoever this Hinata person is, she's dead!" Suigetsu turned back to watch Sasuke talk to himself.

"Sorry, Sasuke, not happening," the voice said.

"What!? Why!?"

"Because she's dead."

"W-what happened to her?"

"Well, once Hinata learned of Naruto's death… she… kinda shot herself."

"What!? That's terri- Wait! There aren't any guns in this show!"

"Uh, yes there is. You just haven't seen them."

"You gave her the gun didn't you!?"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did! You bastard! You killed off the girl that I've never been in the same seen with, but still loved!"

"Hey, I didn't kill her! She killed herself!"

Sasuke started to walk away while he angrily cursed the voice in the sky. "Wait! Where are you going?" the voice called. Sasuke spun around and flipped off the sky. "Anywhere but here! You stupid bastard!"

"Wait! I know how to make you feel better!"

Sasuke lowered his finger, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Well tell me."

"Err, you can get a picture of Hinata and touch yourself while you stare at it."

"That's… Brilliant! But wait… I don't have a picture of Hinata." Sasuke hung his head low in dismay.

"That's okay. Take mine. I have millions."

"Gee thanks!"

Sasuke then started to touch himself.

Suigetsu and Karin stared, eyes twitching. "Is… Sasuke… Touching himself?" Jugo asked as he walked over to where his teammates were. "Yes, Jugo. Sasuke is in fact touching himself." Suigetsu replied uncertainly. "Okay, Suigetsu. I think it's time we intervene," Karin said, getting up. As they were about to go to Sasuke and ask him if he's on crack, Sasuke ran over to them happily. "Hey guys guess what!" he shouted eagerly. "You found pleasure in touching your genitals?" Suigetsu tried, praying he wouldn't say yes. "No! Well actually yes, but that's not all! I'm the new main character of Naruto, I mean Sasuke!" They all stared at him. _'Oh my fuck. He said yes.' _Suigetsu thought, covering his twitching eye. "Sasuke?" Jugo calmy asked.

"Yes, Jugo?"

"Are you on crack or some new allergy medication we should know about?"

"No, absolutely not! Oh my purple waist bow! What's that!" he exclaimed, pointing behind them. As they turned around Sasuke quickly pulled out his bottle of Nasonex, took a quick sniff, then threw it into the distance. They turned back to Sasuke, who flashed them a smile that said, "I didn't just sniff allergy medication that I obtained illegally". "Well, now that I'm the new Naruto, let's go find a new theme song for the show!" They stared at him, clearly doubting his sanity. "Umm, okay. But before that, I need to know something." Karin stated. Sasuke tilted his head. "Sure, what is it you need to know?"

"Who's Hinata?"

"Um, well-"

"And what does she have that I don't!" she yelled, covering her face as she burst into tears. And with that, the quest for the ultimate theme song began.

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_**Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did. And if enough people are interested, I'll write a sequel telling their adventures in finding the ultimate theme song! Review! Enough reviews equals sequel, even though you're probably thinking "What do you mean! How can you end a story like that and NOT write a sequel!". Well, I just can. And make sure to remember that I'm sharing an account with shimpo1. **


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